THINGS YOU DON'T DO

in

Donbovawitthegunma

It is STRONGLY Warned to watch out for FALLING BOVINES when parked under any overhanging cliffs. The Township nor the Sovereign State will not re-emburse any car owners who are hit by any heifers. It would also, be very difficult to explain to you Insurance Company. So BEWARE of this sign and do not park in these designated areas.

Visitors to our beautiful township will note "OPEN RANGE" signs scattered conveniently around the general area. This does not mean that it is an excepted practice to dump any household appliances anywhere near such signs The individual who disposed of the old stove above has been appropriately dealt with.

However, visitors are invited to use the existing facility as a Barbecue Area.

 

This sign on the other hand is self-explanatory and also, doubles as the designated meeting area for the Donbovawitthegunma Duck Hunting Club during Duck Hunting season.

 

This Sign is located on the other side of the Children's Playground. It was created when the State's Administration became aware that many of many little tikes and several irresponsible Adults losing small body parts during inappropriate activities near the signs. Parents are reminded to supervise their offspring closely.

Also, located in the vicinities of the Children's Playground is this sign.

Again, Parents are reminded to supervise their offspring closely, as all and any UNATTENDED children will be sold to any passing circuses.

WE MEAN IT!

 

This is one of our MOST IMPORTANT signs in Donbovawitthegunma. We are very proud of our 'Private' Golf Club located just behind the Grey Mauser's Funeral Home and Cemetery. As such the Club members are very protective of their private areas. It is suggested to avoid the Golf Course at all costs.

Visitors to the Cosy Kangaroo Hotel will on occasion find this sign displayed on the door of the Hotel. This occurs only when important issues of State are being discussed and the owners of the hotel are indisposed and are playing a round of golf. Our beloved Emperor however, acutely aware that visitors and travelers maybe in need of a thirst quenching beverage has opened his own home and invites all visitors to the NEWLY OPENED "Downunder Bistro" located in one of the vaults of the Emperor's regal abode on such occasions.

SPECIAL parking has been arranged and appropriate signs created for all patrons of the "Downunder Bistro" as the only beverage on offer is the Emperor's homemade "APPLE MEAD" which has been noted to be extremely high in alcohol contents.

 

DON'T PISS OFF THE EMUS

Visitors to our State MUST be forewarned that Donbovawitthegunma is the only home of the very Rare and Endangered Killer Emu population which exist just east of the Township near Dead Dingo Creek. If you find yourself in the vicinity of a flock of these Feathered Fiends it is strongly suggested you stay inside your vehicle. If you find yourself out in the open and on foot, DO NOT Run! Lie quietly down and play possum. In a few hours the flock will become disinterested in you and move on. It is strongly suggested that you follow the above advise and ...

DON'T PISS OFF THE EMUS